We're up to Chapter Four now in excerpts I'm posting from my upcoming release, Memoirs of a Starving Artist. This week, a look at life in Washington, DC, for a recent college graduate. It is a great place to live, but I can't say I miss it now with all of the acrimony going on there! Still, whenever I see a picture of that capitol dome, I can't help but get a little sentimental...
Chapter Four – Capital Living
As soon as I
landed at Baltimore-Washington Airport I knew that I didn’t want to go
home. This was a brand new world for me, full of excitement and the
promise of new experience. I’d been offered a two-week job driving around
to drug stores in the area to set up shampoo and skin care product
displays. By this point I was ready to do anything I could to dig myself
out of the substitute-teaching hell-hole into which I’d sunk. When I flew
off to DC for this much needed hiatus, I suspected in the back of my mind that
it might turn into something more.
It also just so
happened that I’d recently landed my very first book contract. A
reference book company hired me to write a book on wilderness preservation, for
the princely sum of $500 as an advance against royalties. That meant that
it would take me a year to write, and then close to another year to work
through their publishing schedule and go on sale. Perhaps in two and a
half to three years from the time I started I could expect to begin earning an
undetermined amount of money in royalties. At least it was
something. My name on the jacket of a published book. By the time I
got to DC I already thought I might stick around to work on it there for a
while. I ended up renting a room in an apartment on Capitol Hill not too
far from the Library of Congress. Where better to do my research than
that?
To make ends meet
I continued working for the shampoo distributor, driving around to stock the
shelves at stores all over the Washington-Baltimore area. Some stores
were in nicer, suburban areas. Others were in much rougher
neighborhoods. I told some of my new friends on the hill about going to
stores on the other side of the Anacostia River. They were shocked that I
could be so brave, yet ironically, none of them had ever been there and they
never would, so what did they know about it really? I understood that the
people in these neighborhoods were mostly just people, like anywhere else,
worried about their jobs and their families and other normal, everyday
concerns. Sure, many were poor and drugs were a big problem, but it
wasn’t the battleground that my sheltered friends on the hill seemed to
imagine.
One of the stores
I visited regularly had a gorgeous black cashier named Candy, with big metal
earrings that spelled out her name. Candy had a raw sexuality and a
street-wise attitude. She liked to tease me, being the sole white guy who
showed up every week or two in her all-black neighborhood. I always
looked forward to seeing her and even thought about asking her out, but the
cultural gulf between us seemed so wide that I could never bring myself to do
it. Instead I turned the idea into my next writing project, a screenplay
about a young white politico falling in love with a poor, uneducated black girl
from across the river. Anacostia Bridge was a modern-day Romeo
and Juliet, with two lovers struggling to overcome prejudice, distrust and
suspicion coming from both sides. When I finished a draft I actually
managed to get Beyonce Knowles’ agent to read it. This agent even called
me personally to turn me down. It was the closest I would get. I
entered the script in all of the major contests and contacted every other agent
that I could, but just like my previous efforts, nobody took any interest at
all.
To invest so much
into a project like this, not just in time and energy, but also heart and soul,
only to be roundly ignored… it was hard to take. Each failure chipped
away a little bit more at my optimism and my self-esteem. To write, edit
and polish a movie script took me four to six months. For a novel it was
upwards of a year. When I sent them around to agents it took three or
four months more before I heard back, if at all. I desperately wanted one
of my projects to save me from this bleak existence but with each failure I was
faced with a discouraging reality. Even if I came up with a great idea
for my next project, it would take another year of effort just to find out if
this was going to be the one. Based on my experience so far, whatever I came
up with next was probably not. Even so, after the failure of Anacostia
Bridge, I dug into a whole new project. This was a script about a
relative of mine who had travelled across China on his own in the 1940’s to
join Mao Tse Tung’s group of communist revolutionaries during the Chinese civil
war. When the war ended, Sidney Rittenberg rose to a position of power in
the new regime. He was the only outsider to eventually head a government
ministry and he was known throughout the country. That didn’t save him
from being swept up in a purge years later during the Cultural
Revolution. He would spend the next sixteen years of his life imprisoned
in solitary confinement. This was a story that thrilled me. It had
everything I was looking for; politics, intrigue, and personal betrayal.
I titled my script Mandate of Heaven. Perhaps this would be the
one? I could only hope…
It was said by
Albert Einstein that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing
over and over again and expecting a different result. Of course each of
my writing projects was different from the last. That is always what kept
me going. The next idea always seemed like such a good one at the
start. I try not to think too much about a monumental effort that lies
ahead of me, all with zero guarantees. If I operated on logic instead of
hope I would have given up already. I would have thrown in the towel and
devoted myself to finding a more traditional career. I did strongly
consider it. There are other ways to change the world besides writing
after all. I was living in one of the most influential cities in the
world. Surely there was a job somewhere here in Washington that would let
me feel like I was making a difference. I did my best to find it.
My new friends on
the hill all had jobs that sounded exciting to me. They worked for
members of Congress or various non-governmental organizations. They had
regular paychecks as well as the sense that what they were doing mattered
somehow. I wanted that, too. After all of my struggles, I was ready
to give stability another try. No matter how many jobs I applied for,
though, I never got so much as an interview. Nearly all of the people I
knew got their start working as unpaid interns for two or three months before
they were offered paid positions. I couldn’t afford to work for free,
even for a few months.
Working in the
drug stores was frustrating, but at least I still found pride in the fact that
I was supporting myself in this city. Despite my career disappointments,
everything was still exciting and new. Maybe things weren’t working out
as I’d hoped, but for the first time I did feel as though my life was wholly my
own. That in itself was exhilarating. And besides, even though I
wasn’t working in the thick of the political intrigues, I was still surrounded
by it all. In some sense that was enough. Washington, DC, was a
magnet for eager and intelligent young people looking to make their mark on the
world and I quickly cultivated an extensive social network. My roommate
was a recent college graduate working at the Federal Reserve. Downstairs
were two young women who worked at the White House, monitoring events as they
happened in the “Situation Room.” Up the street was a row house filled
with more recent grads, all working for various members of congress. It
was exciting to hear their insider stories. It was fun going to parties
or out on the town with them. I’d planned to stay for three months.
When that was up, I opted for three more. Then six more. Here on
the opposite side of the country I felt for the first time that I had my own
life, away from my parents and expectations and familiar surroundings. It
didn’t matter so much that I was working a menial job with no future. I
was surviving. I was free.
During summer
evenings I sometimes sat outside on our fire escape to watch the world go by
two-stories below. We lived in a borderline area between the gentrified
section of Capitol Hill and the rougher areas approaching the Anacostia
River. It was on one of those lazy summer evenings when I came back
inside the kitchen to make dinner that I heard the pop, pop, pop of
gunfire. I’d heard it before often enough, but always from a
distance. This time it was loud and right across the street.
I peered out the
window with my eyes just above the sill, afraid of being hit by a stray
bullet. On the opposing corner I saw two scruffy-looking men run out the
back door of a small convenience store and take off down the street.
Immediately after them came another scruffy guy with a pistol in his
hand. He stopped on the corner, held up the gun, and proceeded to fire
five or six shots down the street as a terrified woman with a hoe worked in her
garden just a few feet away. The man with the gun paused for a moment on
the corner and then took off running after the others.
I dashed into our
living room to ask my roommate if he had seen what happened. He hadn’t,
but handed me the phone.
“Call 911!” he
said.
I’d never called
911 before. It seemed a strange thing to do. That was for
emergencies. But then what was this? I dialed the number and an
operator came on.
“I just witnessed
a shooting across the street!” I told her breathlessly. As I explained
what had happened, the man with the gun came walking back casually.
“My god, he’s
coming back!” I said. “He’s standing right across the street!”
“Does he still
have the gun?” she asked.
“Yes, he still has
the gun!” I answered. The man held the weapon nonchalantly at his
side. Within minutes, it seemed as though half of the cops in Washington
were parked across the street. National Park police, city police, Capitol
police. They were all there in large numbers. I went down to give
an eye-witness account, but the only one who seemed to care was a newspaper reporter.
I found out that the man with the gun was an undercover officer. The
store had been robbed three times in a matter of weeks and the cops were
staking it out, waiting for attempt number four. None of the perpetrators
were immediately caught, though one was grazed by a bullet and arrested when he
checked himself into a hospital later that night.
In some ways this
event marked the end of an era for me. I had lived in the city for over a
year at this point, but the shooting was enough to cause one downstairs neighbor
to pack up and move away. Several other friends on the street followed
soon afterwards. My roommate was next to go, for reasons of his
own. I was learning that in a transient town such as this one, it was
easy to meet people but just as easy to lose them. One by one, all of the
friends I’d made deserted me and moved on. The social network I had spent
a year cultivating, and had come to rely on, dissolved before my eyes. I
started to feel like my own Washington adventure was drawing to a close.
A career in politics still had some appeal, as a backup plan. Maybe if I
had a graduate degree I might actually be able to find a decent job? It
sounded like a reasonable prospect. Writing was still and always would be
my first choice, but to hedge my bets I applied for a graduate program in
political science at San Diego State University. It wasn’t long after
that I packed up my truck and headed off on the long journey home.
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