Tuesday, September 29, 2020

A Day in the Life...

I don't post on this blog very often, and I figure not many people actually read it, but I thought I'd give an update today.  I wish I could say it was going to be an uplifting message, but unfortunately it's one of those that is more about facing life's challenges and doing the best you can.

Right now I'm in Denver, staying with family.  If it wasn't for the pandemic, I'd be living back in Budapest now, but as it is I seem to be here in the US for the duration.  I suppose in some ways there is what could be considered an odd silver lining of sorts.  Last year I posted about being treated for prostate cancer.  Now tests are indicating that it seems to be back.  So, no, having a recurrence of cancer is not a silver lining, but being here in my home country for further testing and treatment is.

The challenges at the moment are multi-fold.  First I had to find a new doctor here in Denver, which I was able to do.  Then I had to switch my insurance coverage from California to Colorado, which slows things down and adds layer upon layer of anxiety.  It's led me to scheduling and showing up for an MRI, only to be refused service and turned away because the insurance hadn't kicked in here yet.  It's led me to show up at another hospital for a PET scan and pay up front for that one, only to be told this morning that I am not eligible to be reimbursed because I didn't wait an extra week for the benefits to kick in first.  It's had me on the phone to doctor's offices, and insurance representatives, and financial counselors, and hospital staff, trying to sort through the bureaucracy week after week, all while there is likely this recurrence of cancer growing inside me.

The good news, and I need to try to focus on that these days, is that the PET scan came back negative, which means there is no sign of metastasis.  That does take a fair amount of the pressure off, but this is still not something I want to delay.

In the meantime, I'm trying to keep plugging along with the rest of my life.  I'm working on a new thriller novel and making every effort to remain productive, despite the anxiety, and the phone calls, and the appointments, when I can get them.  I did manage to get up into the foothills this past weekend for a hike among the aspens with my sister.

Nature has a healing power all it's own, at least psychologically, and that's a big part of the battle.  I'll keep doing the best I can do, making those phone calls, scheduling appointments, and working my way through it all.  

This has been a rough year for a whole lot of people all around the world.  I know I'm not alone in that.  Days like I had today can be somewhat paralyzing, but I'm trying to maintain some optimism and look ahead to a time when this is all behind me.

There is the possibility that I won't need further treatment (though the doctor says that's slim).  There is the possibility that I'll have further treatment, and this time it will be successful, and by early next year I'll be able to move on without it hanging over me any longer.  I will focus on that outcome, and look forward to that day.

For those of you facing challenges of your own this year, either related to the pandemic, or the stressful political or economic situation, or something else entirely, I join you in hoping that better times lie ahead.  Until then, we'll keep plugging away, one foot in front of the other, doing what we can to appreciate the good things.

Today in Denver, it is warm and sunny, the skies are a deep clear blue, and the leaves are changing.  It's a good reminder of how nice it is just to be alive for another day on earth.

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